Bleach: Ichigo and Multiple Character Descriptions
by YenGirl
Summary: In which Ichigo and friends can be described in a myriad number of ways. Much to their dismay.


**Author Notes:** Hello, everyone! It's been a whole month since I last posted something and I was going crazy...! It wasn't due to lack of time, but lack of inspiration.

Anyway, my daughter and I have come to the realisation that fanfiction writers love using descriptions for characters (instead of their names) so as not to confuse their readers. After all, one can't keep using the characters' names in every single sentence, and while pronouns like 'he' and 'she' are all fine and dandy, they don't work in scenes that have two or more characters of the same gender.

BUT... is it really necessary to use so many different types of descriptions for the _same_ character within the _same_ chapter? What would the characters themselves think? Let's find out. Written purely for fun with no offense to anyone. Enjoy :)

 **Warnings:** Crack, OOC-ness, tongue in cheek humour and spoilers for the Bleach series.

 **Rating:** 'T'

 **Disclaimer:** Bleach belongs to Tite Kubo.

\- Story Start -

Not long after the incident with Kuugo Ginjo, Ichigo Kurosaki visited Seireitei again. He went to the Squad Six barracks and spotted a disgruntled Renji Abarai coming out the gate.

"Yo, Renji!"

"Ichigo."

The two friends exchanged nods.

"So, what's up?" asked the spiky orange haired male. "You don't look too happy."

"Just annoyed at the sheer number of descriptions I've collected in Bleach fanfics," replied the ponytailed red haired male.

"Oh, _those_ ," said the spiky orange haired Shinigami Substitute and rolled his eyes.

"I have a name - Renji Abarai. And a title - Sixth Squad Lieutenant. Just use either one!" exclaimed the ponytailed red haired Sixth Squad Lieutenant in frustration.

"I know what you mean, I have a name and a title too," pointed out the spiky orange haired Shinigami Substitute who was part Shinigami part Hollow part Quincy.

"Why do they have to complicate their storylines with so many additional descriptions?" complained the ponytailed red haired Sixth Squad Lieutenant who was pure Shinigami.

"Never ending descriptions," sighed the spiky orange haired Shinigami Substitute who was part Shinigami part Hollow part Quincy and also Fullbring.

"I don't even know who's who after a while," said the ponytailed red haired Sixth Division Lieutenant who was pure Shinigami and sported multiple tattoos.

" _That's_ when I stop reading them," said the spiky orange haired Shinigami Substitute who was part Shinigami part Hollow part Quincy and also Fullbring who hailed from Karakura Town.

"I should do that too," agreed the ponytailed red haired Sixth Division Lieutenant who was pure Shinigami, sported multiple tattooes and came from the Rukongai.

"Do what?" asked Rangiku Matsumoto, strolling up to them with Toushiro Hitsugaya beside her.

"Matsumoto-san. Toushiro," greeted the spiky orange haired Shinigami Substitute who was part Shinigami part Hollow part Quincy and also Fullbring who hailed from Karakura Town and studied at Karakura High.

"It's Captain Hitsugaya to you," sniffed the Tenth Squad Captain.

"So, do what?" prompted the Tenth Squad Lieutenant.

"My guess is they're talking about Bleach fanfictions," said the Tenth Squad Captain with spiky white hair.

"Oh, you mean the descriptions they apply to us?" giggled the Tenth Squad Lieutenant with long honey blond tresses.

"Yes. Just how many descriptions one person can collect?" The Tenth Squad Captain with spiky white hair and large turquoise eyes shook his head.

"Well, I'm fine with 'beautiful' or 'voluptuous'," said the Tenth Squad Lieutenant with long honey blond tresses and round blue eyes.

"You would," huffed the Tenth Squad Captain with spiky white hair, large turquoise eyes and was vertically challenged.

"Who wouldn't?" countered the Tenth Squad Lieutenant with long honey blond tresses and round blue eyes who was well endowed.

Just then, another two Shinigami walked up to them.

"Ichigo! Didn't know you were here," greeted Rukia.

"Are you here on official business?" asked Hisagi.

"Yo, Rukia. Hisagi-san. Nah, just dropped by for a visit," replied the spiky orange haired Shinigami Substitute who was part Shinigami part Hollow part Quincy and also Fullbring who hailed from Karakura Town, studied at Karakura High and had two younger sisters.

"Good to see you," said the Thirteenth Squad Lieutenant.

"What, no permission needed to enter Seireitei anymore?" asked the Ninth Squad Lieutenant with a frown.

"Shocking, right?" sighed the Tenth Squad Captain with spiky white hair, large turquiose eyes, was vertically challenged, and used an ice type zanpakuto.

"Well, it _is_ Ichigo," said the Thirteenth Squad Lieutenant with short black hair.

"That doesn't mean the rules don't apply to him," protested the Ninth Squad Lieutenant with short spiky black hair.

The Thirteenth Squad Lieutenant with short black hair and large purple eyes just grinned at him.

The Ninth Squad Lieutenant with short spiky black hair and narrow brown eyes looked disgruntled as he folded his arms across his chest.

"Hey, I'm standing right here!" protested the spiky orange haired Shinigami Substitute who was part Shinigami part Hollow part Quincy and also Fullbring who hailed from Karakura Town, studied at Karakura High and had two younger sisters and an ex-Captain for a father.

"What's all this then?" asked Ikkaku Madarame who had approached them.

"Another discussion on fanfiction?" asked Yumichika Ayasegawa who was with him.

"More specifically, the assortment of descriptions they lump on us," explained the Thirteenth Squad Lieutenant with short black hair and large purple eyes, and also wielded an ice type zanpakuto.

"Don't remind me," said the Ninth Squad Lieutenant with short spiky black hair and narrow brown eyes who wore kido armbands.

"Yeah, Lieutenant Yachiru gives me more than enough nicknames," growled the Eleventh Squad Third Seat Officer.

"She does indeed," said the Eleventh Squad Fifth Seat Officer with a little laugh.

"And don't repeat them," warned the Eleventh Squad Third Seat Officer who was bald.

"Oh, you mean like 'Q-ball'?" asked the Eleventh Squad Fifth Seat Officer who had shiny black hair in a bob cut.

"What did I just say!" yelled the Eleventh Squad Third Seat Officer who was bald and had narrow brown eyes.

"Hey, I was just teasing," laughed the Eleventh Squad Fifth Seat Officer who had shiny black hair in a bob cut and pretty purple eyes.

"All these descriptions are too confusing. I'm outta here," decided the spiky orange haired Shinigami Substitute who was part Shinigami part Hollow part Quincy and also Fullbring who hailed from Karakura Town, studied at Karakura High and had two younger sisters, an ex-Captain for a father and a Quincy mother.

"Yeah, me too," agreed the ponytailed red haired Sixth Division Lieutenant who was pure Shinigami, sported multiple tattooes, came from the Rukongai and had feelings for the Thirteenth Squad Lieutenant with short black hair, large purple eyes, and also wielded an ice type zanpakuto and was adopted into the Kuchiki clan.

Before the others could say anything, they felt a familiar and powerful reiatsu drawing close.

"It's Captain Zaraki," stated the Eleventh Squad Third Seat Officer who was bald and had narrow brown eyes with pink smudges on the upper eyelids.

"And Lieutenant Yachiru," added the Eleventh Squad Fifth Seat Officer who had shiny black hair in a bob cut, pretty purple eyes, and red and yellow eye feathers.

"I'm outta here. Don't think I can deal with anymore character descriptions. Bye everyone!"

And with that, the spiky orange haired Shinigami Substitute who was part Shinigami part Hollow part Quincy and also Fullbring who hailed from Karakura Town, studied at Karakura High and had two younger sisters, an ex-Captain for a father, a Quincy mother and was an honours student... fled the scene.

\- Story End -

 **A/N:** Thanks for reading! Please leave a review if you enjoyed it :)


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